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Article about being married to an older man:
S. On Her Ordeal and How She Won Her Freedom: “Being married to an older man was like being a prisoner. I didn t even have control over my own body.

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” - AHA Foundation
Sara Tasneem was trapped in a marriage with a stranger when she was just 15 years old. This happened in the U.S. Now a free and independent woman, she bravely fights for anti-child marriage legislation so that other girls don’t have to go through the abuse she experienced. Child marriage
Sara’s Story, Part 1: A Survivor of Child Marriage in the U.S. On Her Ordeal and How She Won Her Freedom: “Being married to an older man was like being a prisoner. I didn’t even have control over my own body.” Published 11/7/2022 Sara Tasneem was trapped in a marriage with a stranger when she was just 15 years old. This happened in the U.S. Now a free and independent woman, she bravely fights for anti-child marriage legislation so that other girls don’t have to go through the abuse she experienced. Here, she tells her angering yet inspiring story in her own words. *The opinions of Sara Tasneem don’t necessarily reflect those of AHA Foundation* Many people think that child marriage is not an issue in the U.S.—but it is legal and it does happen. It happened to me. Sadly, much of my experience is not unique. My story is just one of hundreds of thousands. How I Was Forced to Marry Aged Just 15. I was married at the age of 15 to a 28-year-old man who was a complete stranger to me. I met him one morning at a religious convention in Los Angeles and was forced into a spiritual ceremony, called a Nikkah, that night. The ceremony was led by the leader of the religious group my father followed. I was in California visiting my dad for the summer and my marriage happened without my mother’s knowledge or consent. This was actually my dad’s second attempt to marry me off. The first unsuccessful attempt happened when I was 12. My dad had tried to introduce me to a man much older than me who had refused to marry me. I did not even understand what happened at that time and it was not until much later that I realized what had been attempted. My parents divorced when I was 5. I was living with my dad from the ages of 5 to 10 years old, then moved around to various homes until finally, at 12, I was reunited with my mother in Colorado, while my dad had settled in California. I lived with my mom until I was 15. Sara aged 15. In my freshman year of high school, I decided I wanted to join the Air Force and then go on to law school. I had also started seeing a boy my age after school. I would go to his basketball practices and hang out with him after school. I was still a virgin at the time because I was scared of having sex, and he respected that. I did not feel ready, and I felt it would be a sin that I could not come back from. I was raised with my dad’s strict religious philosophy and for me, hell was a very real place. My mom found out about my boyfriend and told my dad. She told him that she intended to put me on birth control and would allow me to continue to see my boyfriend once I returned from my summer visit. I believe she thought that my dad would be supportive of that idea. Instead, he started trying to find me a husband. I believe the motivation for my forced child marriage was to control my sexuality and to ensure that I followed my father’s beliefs. My mother was not religious and did not believe in the group my dad was a part of. My marriage would also conveniently resolve any financial burdens my father had regarding my upbringing. How a Religious Cult Stole My Childhood. Since I was raised for the most part under my father’s care, I had been indoctrinated from a young age with his group’s spiritual practices and beliefs. My dad was physically and emotionally abusive to me when I was a child. I was terrified of him and learned not to question his authority for my own safety. I believed my marriage was the right thing to do, based on the teachings I was raised with. We were supposed to obey the Sheik, who was the leader of the group. The group believed he had a direct lineage to the Prophet Muhammad and spiritual connections with historical Sufi leaders. In the group, many young virgin girls were married to adult men. I was not unique. The grooming started at an early age. The Sheik encouraged men to marry virgins and told them that “marriage was half of [their] faith.” We were taught that questioning anything about the group or the Sheik was wrong. We were supposed to have faith and not question. His followers believed that the Sheik would be their salvation during the end of the world, which was imminent. They would ask him about important life decisions, such as who to marry and when, what to name their children, when to travel, or what they should do in marital and other life matters. His followers supported him financially and those who gave more money were rewarded with a higher status in the group structure. My father was close to the Sheik and asked him frequently about many of his family decisions. The Sheik advised him to marry me off and even picked my groom. In the group, many young virgin girls were married to adult men. I was not unique. The grooming started at an early age. The Sheik encouraged men to marry virgins and told them that “marriage was half of [their] faith.” There were often matches made by the Sheik and his family between adult men and virgin girls. As girls, we were told in many different ways that a woman’s highest role was to be a mother and a wife. We were not encouraged to think about a career or anything beyond what our group’s practices were. Sara at her Nikkah ceremony, aged 15. I was told that when a man married a woman, the woman had to have sex with him whenever and wherever he wanted it. I was also told that birth control was not allowed because if God wanted you to get pregnant that was “His will.” We were taught to hide our bodies because men could not control their urges. We were taught that we needed the protection of a male in order to navigate the dangerous outside world. We were taught to be afraid of the influence of non-believers on our faith. We were taught to be suspicious of anyone who challenged our insular views. The followers that did leave, like my mother, were constantly spoken about negatively. My mother was a target because she left my father to pursue her own career and freedom. She was also forced into her marriage at the age of nineteen. She left the religion when she left my father. Because of that, we were told that the Sheik labeled her a “shaytana,” which meant she was considered a “she-devil.” I was told that my mother did not love me, which was why she left. She was a scapegoat for anything that went “wrong” with me and was often used as an example of how not to be. I was frequently compared to her likeness and was also considered to be a black sheep in my own family because she was my mother and I could be under her dangerous “influence” because of that. My Marriage: An Imprisonment. Being married to an older man was like being a prisoner. I didn’t even have control over my own body. My reproductive rights were taken from me. I did not drive, go to school, have friends my age, or anything that was mine alone. My freedom and youth were completely robbed. I felt like I lost myself after I was married. I felt hollow and numb to any emotion. I remember having to appease my husband constantly. I was constantly trying to not make him angry and when he did lose his temper, I blamed myself. After I was forced to marry, my entire world got cut off. My childhood seemed like a distant memory.













being married to an older man problems


being married to an older man