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(Things You Shouldn t Ignore) - Self Development Journey
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.

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20 Red Flags When Dating an Older Man! (Things You Shouldn’t Ignore) Dating is never easy, and dating an older guy comes with its own challenges and things you’ll need to be prepared for. You should always be on the lookout for any red flags in a relationship, and more so take notice and do something about them. If you’re interested in or already dating a guy who is 5, 10, or maybe even 20 years older, it’s going to be very different from dating a guy the same age as you. Here are 20 red flags when dating an older man to look out for: 20 Red Flags When Dating an Older Man. 1. He Is Stuck in His Ways. Sayings like ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’ are not just cliches. A lot of the time older guys will be stuck in their ways and set in their ways. This can be frustrating, because you may want him to try new things or do things differently, but it’s likely he’s in a place in his life where he knows what he likes. This is a huge red flag though, it means you’re going to have a battle on your hands going forward if there are things you want to do that he doesn’t. 2. He’s Not Over His Ex. This is a classic red flag in any new relationship, but an older guy has likely been through more, longer relationships, so it’s something to take seriously. If he’s still talking about his ex, or if she’s still a big part of his life, then there is a chance he’s not over her. That’s a situation you don’t want to get involved in and a warning sign that you need to back off till he has it sorted. 3. He Has Kids. I’m not suggesting kids should be a dealbreaker, but it’s something to take into account when dating an older guy. Kids can potentially present a few problems that you might not see or think of at first, such as: He’ll be busy at the times you want to see him like weekends, His kids may not like or accept you, He probably won’t want kids with you in the future, You need to think long and hard about how him having kids is going to affect you and think with your head and not just your heart. 4. He Tries Controlling You. A lot of times older guys will want to take the lead and be in control, because that’s how they’re used to things being. However, this can quickly turn into him trying to control you and your life. He may want to know where you are all the time, what you’re doing, and who you’re with. This is not acceptable and is a huge red flag. 5. You Feel Like You’re Being Gaslit. This is a term you might not have heard before, but it’s important to be aware of. Gaslighting is when someone tries to make you question your reality, memory, and perception. It’s a form of manipulation and is often used as a way to control someone. If a guy tries to pull this with you I recommend you run a mile. 6. You Don’t Have Many Shared Interests. When you fall in love with someone and there is a huge age gap, you don’t often have a lot of stuff in common. In the short term, this is fine and you’ll get by on the emotions and feelings you have for one another. But it’s a red flag to be aware of as over time you’ll likely grow apart unless you make a concerted effort to find things to do together and have shared interests. 7. You Have Different Life Goals. It’s normal to have different life goals when you fall for a guy who is much older than you are as you’re in different stages of life! However, it can be a difficult thing to overcome and something you need to think about. If your long-term or life goals don’t align there is going to come a time when one of you is going to have to make a sacrifice, and that’s not always easy or possible. 8. Your Friends Are Warning You About Him. I think we’ve all been guilty of not listening to our friends when they try to warn us about someone we’re dating. But sometimes, they can see things that we can’t and their warnings should be heeded. If your friends are trying to tell you something about the older guy you’re dating, listen to them! 9. He Still Sees His Ex. It’s a bad sign if an older guy you’re dating is still seeing his ex when he has no reason to outside of them being friends with them. It shows he’s not completely over the relationship and still has feelings for her to some extent. I’m not saying he should cut her off, not at all. But he also needs to take your feelings into consideration and not put you in an awkward position. 10. He’s Depressed or Down. Older guys are more likely to be depressed as they may be coming out of a long-term relationship or marriage and lost a lot. This isn’t always the case, but it’s something to be aware of. If he’s down or depressed all the time it can be a real drag and you may find yourself being his therapist rather than his girlfriend. 11. He’s Bitter About Love. Older guys who have been hurt in the past may be bitter about love and women in general. This can make them act out in strange ways or say hurtful things. If he comes across like this, even though I’m sure he’s sweet with you, this is a red flag to take notice of. 12. He Says He Loves You Too Soon. This one is a huge red flag and something you should run away from as fast as you can. Older guys who say they love you too soon are often just trying to manipulate you and control you. Sure, it’s nice to hear those words, but only when someone really means it and truly values you for who you are. 13.













is it wrong to date an older guy